october was hectic and crazy, in the best possible ways. something in me knew it wouldnt last. from day one the month felt magical and lucky in the most indescribable way. the countdown started then.
after a halloween like none other, sleep deprived, over worked, over extended--things got back on track in their usual downward spiral.
my car--once again--is non-moving, i'm once again without regular employment, and once again in need of a new place to live.
theres alot of details i dont really want to go into and this entry is primarily me venting frustration at a blank page because its not like i have anyone to vent to directly.
once again i'm reminded that no one actually listens and theres nothing i can do about it.
talking is kindof my thing so when its brought to my attention that theres no point in doing it i get very confused...
ANYWAY i'm trying to remain optimistic but its uncertian how long that'll last before i just start stabbing things.
all i know is that i'm tired of being the focus of frustration for other people and i'm tired of needing technology to get anything accomplished, i'm tired of needing the help of other people but having no one to rely on.
i'm gonna keep going because thats what i do.
even though i wouldnt mind a nice deep year-long coma right about now.
people ask me why i dont "do" holidays like thanksgiving and christmas and new years--its because this shit always seems to happen between November and January.
by spring i'll be fine again, its getting there thats the hard part.