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Intangibility. [16 Nov 2010|04:02am]
SO first and foremost, a warning: i'm only venting feel free to ignore this post as a whole.


so,most people dont get me, first and foremost.

in many ways i dont understand the world or society or human nature.

now that thats all out of the way, lets get to it... today was a day like any other in my usual cycle of rediculosity...i slept for about 20 hours with no intention of waking up, and once i realized i should be awake, i fell back to sleep. over and over and over again it happened. those weird waking reams where you feel like youre conscious and know you should be up and at 'em; so you try to move your arms. unyielding, your limbs remain in a state of paralysis, though you're aware of it, and FINALLY after what seems like hours you wake up from that dream into another dream where you wake up into the "real" world.

throughout the day i remained groggy.

three cups of coffee later, i had a rockstar, for two hours i was functional...after a possible decade of being non-functioning.

eventually, long after the sun had set i went out into the world.

all night, people asked "whats wrong?" "are you okay?" "why are you sad?" noticing the visible divide between me and them, no manner of rabble could rouse me.

i just want to make sure everyone knows that its due to no fault of theirs. its november now, and holidays are looming overhead.

i'm a seasonal depressive, this is my black time. occasionally it comes and goes in a matter of hours.

sometimes i just cant be touched. sometimes my hand cannot be held. most times, if you touch my back, i tense and cringe and it only makes things worse.

deal with it.

i have for my entire life and i'm sorry i dont respond to hu-mon interaction.

i should have stayed in tonite.

i should have gone into a coma once the sun went down.

i dont want to be a burden and i dont want to hinder anyone's good time. its just the way i am and always have been. i dont want to talk about love or relationships or what my ideal man might be.

as of right now i have no ideal, all men are horrible, all love is useless, and all sex is disgusting.

thats just right now.

i'm jealous and sensitive and angry and filled to the brim with rage. this time will pass and i can be amongst people again eventually.

just not for the second.

even though i want to be outside, i know i shouldnt because it will only make things worse.

sorry....i just had to get that out there and now i'm going to bed with a bottle of red wine--even though i hate red wine, i have a bottle, and i plan on it being gone by the morning.

i cant wish for sweet dreams, but i can wish for no dreams what so ever.

its all so horribly fucked. optimism is not on the menu for tomorrow.

4 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

the fall of the house of sukeban. [14 Nov 2010|06:23am]
SO in case you were unaware, "SUKEBAN" has come to a close.

the time is now upon us to rise up and take what is rightfully ours...fame, fortune, notoriety, but most importantly WORLD DOMINATION.

with the recent chosen departure of miss Kaori Androide from the house of Sukeban, the crew and i felt it was inappropriate to continue on with the name she spawned.

we are currently still bonded together with a love of performance and art, creation and chaos, party and party favoritism in hopes of starting a new event somewhere in the near future.

i have taken control and lead the helm of our--as of yet unnamed--group of miscreant twattlings in the optimistic search for a new place to call "home".

i've made many efforts to reach out to those i know and those i dont know in hopes of finding a bar, club, establishment, shack, flop house, out house, or whore house to call our own.

i have many ideas for the group and have spent the past week in an unending "brainstorm" mode.

somehow i keep myself awake with new ideas for costumes and vehicles for my friends and performers form the former "house of Sukeban" and i have full faith that something will materialize for us in the very near future.

Tonight was the opening of Chris Buxbaum's "transformers" exhibit at the Cherry Lion gallery.

it marked--this month no less-- the exact year end date of the humble beginnings of sukeban. Featuring an assorted collection of large format paparazzi style, hyper-realistic, photographs of past events. the whole gallery was laid out with in-the-moment portraits as if the viewer was surrounded by a sea of painted eyes.

the neon colored subjects were there in person as well. the entire cast showed up dressed in funerary attire to mourn the loss of the one thing that brought them all together.

Naomi Munroe, Dusty A-Go-go, Vanity Sinclair Uncanney, Amber Alertt, Nea D' Angel (ooor she would have if not stricken with the flu), myself, and of course our DJ...DJ Westwood A-Gogo. all dressed in black on black in their own unique ways to symbolize the passing of a great thing.

though, its not all sad! everyone was in good spirits and in great candor to discuss up in coming group projects. we all got a chance to pitch ideas and discuss dislikes of past events as well as hopes for the future. everyone seems to be on essentially the same page and ready to get to work on something completely new and different.

there were appearances by Sukeban regulars like David Richardson, who somehow got the memo and woree as many black buttons as he could. mister Stacey Wall played the part of leaison to new contacts for the group, and scondary (but equally important) photographer Andy Forbes all joined the fun! there was an appearance the world-wide avant gaurde society of "the sister's of perpetual indulgence"...who in full regail, stopped traffic as they normally do.

as opposed to being on any kind of heroic mission, the Atlanta chapter of the sisters surfaced to pay homage to a local atlanta artist. ((though, it doesn't hurt that a couple large photographs of their members are currently gracing the walls of the small gallery.))

couples, both gay and straight wandered in.

some with children, some without. i was honored aaaand kindof weirded oout by being the first drag queen that some of the kids had ever met. but the little girls loved my shoes and the boys were mostly amazed at my height.

however, whether or not they meant to, they brought with them a demeanor of understanding, acceptance, and excitement into the space. people who had been and people who had never been to a sukeban event became anxious and excited about the next one.

sadly though, it became my grave responsibility to tell them the news.

part of me wished there were a large black lacquer coffin in the center of the room. filled with brightly colored crinolin tubing, an assortment of glittery objects, brightly colored helium balloons and topped with a somber black dress laid out in the shape of an unidentifiable human figure similar to the wedding clothes in the say-once scene in "beetlejuice"... that would have given them the hint that "Sukeban" is dead.

(though now i'm sad because Glenn Shaddix aka "Otho" in the movie died earlier this year...awww)

at any rate, the opening was a grand success.

many congratulations are due to Chris on all of his hard work! and thanks too! he allowed me to make a small display of framed digital prints of a selection of my favorite sukeban promotional posters--and if i hadnt been in such a rush to get there, maybe i would have been able to sell a few too...but oh well.

at any rate, it was a fabulous night. people of all walks of life got to take a quick gander at a slice of atlanta nightlife that somehow managed to escape them.

they brought their friends, families, kids, and checkbooks out to a small (easily missed) gallery and unbeknown-st to them...somehow managed to revive my sense of optimism for Atlanta.

it fills me with hope for future events and for future plans and lets me know that my friends, my performers, and i will be fine. it just might take a while.

"how'd the rest of the night go?" you may ask..well the short answer is i got drunk, the long answer is--well...i just gave you a pretty long something so stop asking so many questions!


2 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

The only bridges i know are the ones on fire. [08 Nov 2010|07:01pm]
SO alot has transpired in a very short time.

october was hectic and crazy, in the best possible ways. something in me knew it wouldnt last. from day one the month felt magical and lucky in the most indescribable way. the countdown started then.

after a halloween like none other, sleep deprived, over worked, over extended--things got back on track in their usual downward spiral.

my car--once again--is non-moving, i'm once again without regular employment, and once again in need of a new place to live.

theres alot of details i dont really want to go into and this entry is primarily me venting frustration at a blank page because its not like i have anyone to vent to directly.

once again i'm reminded that no one actually listens and theres nothing i can do about it.

talking is kindof my thing so when its brought to my attention that theres no point in doing it i get very confused...

ANYWAY i'm trying to remain optimistic but its uncertian how long that'll last before i just start stabbing things.

all i know is that i'm tired of being the focus of frustration for other people and i'm tired of needing technology to get anything accomplished, i'm tired of needing the help of other people but having no one to rely on.

i'm gonna keep going because thats what i do.

even though i wouldnt mind a nice deep year-long coma right about now.

people ask me why i dont "do" holidays like thanksgiving and christmas and new years--its because this shit always seems to happen between November and January.

by spring i'll be fine again, its getting there thats the hard part.

2 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

October kicked my ass and all i got was a crappy cold! [02 Nov 2010|05:03pm]
SO october has finally ended.

i've been extremely busy all month long with working a full-time then more than full-time job--which suddenly ended-- as well as parties and performances and all the things that i get myself into.

aaand by sunday, the 31st i was sick and therefore asleep. and have been since sunday.

anyway, time now for a photo heavy recap!

lets begin with...

october 14th:

Hot and StickyCollapse )

Followed by....

October 23rd:

The Black Cat PartyCollapse )

aaand then...

October 29th:

Sukeban 11Collapse )

aaand now i'm just waiting on pictures from Saturday's Electroport.

when i get them, you'll all be made VERY aware.

Open your mouth.

SUKEBAN 10! [28 Sep 2010|09:23am]

and look! there are pictures to prove it:

all photos by Chris Buxbaum.

if you missed our circus, you missed something magical.

i HIGHLY advise you make an appearance at our halloween show, dates and performers TBA.


i just finished the illustration for the next sloppy seconds poster, and NOW i'm about to get ready for work, where i will be nothing less than the walking dead--as i havent slept in QUITE some time.

the only benefit of being a normal person is the luxury of sleep and leisure time. but for those of us who want more in life, time is and will always be on back-order.

Open your mouth.

burnt buiscuits! [31 Aug 2010|08:03pm]
So i'm officially burnt out.

i cant seem to shake this tired feeling and of course i have deadlines to meet which arent getting met as well as i'd like.

its reeeally frustrating it feels like everything is collapsing around me and i know i need to pull it back together again but god damn its difficult...

just wanted to run away to new york for a few weeks and get lost in the city without a cell phone.

i need a SERIOUS break from drawing and drag. or at least a break from HAVING to draw and HAVING to be in drag.

but i know theres no way of that happening right now.

AANYWAY i need to get back to inking and coloring.

dragon con is this weekend, i'll be at mary's on friday for "DUNGEONS AND DRAG QUEENS" as storm, of course.

and then on the 11th, i'll be co-emceeing and gogo dancing for skin two at the jungle with defenze mechanizm.

be there or whatever.

OH and in closing, Sukeban now has a youtube page, if you've not come out to sukeban, now you can see what you've been missing!


Oh look! theres me!


1 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

Paris Hilton, princess of unicorns. [25 Aug 2010|02:03am]
SO sukeban 9: "Who's yer Pony?!" was this sunday.

the turnout was less than we'd hoped or expected for but the gurls and i had a good time regardless.

a few shots from the night have started to surface on facebook, observe!:

Featuring the debut of my new duet partner, Jarpi the Unicorn! (i plan on pioneering the confusing genre of drag muppetry arts)

And of course, Iphone pics:

yeah...SO in other news, the past couple of weeks have been STRESSFUL and hectic and horrible. with my car situation and random emergencies sprouting up left and right and then costuming for sukeban and deejaying on mondays, i've not been able to really focus on drawing.

i've got deadlines that need to be met and honestly i'm kindof looking forward to my car being in the shop for the next two weeks, it'll give me an excuse to not leave home and focus on important things.

anyway, i just wanted to update.



theres now video...


hopefully you can watch it on facebook. if not, i appologize.

2 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

an image heavy kind of day. [04 Aug 2010|09:03pm]
stay tuned for words and pictures:


August 8th @ iLounge, a white trash bash to remember

SUKEBAN 9: Who's Your Pony??!

August 22nd @ MSR in East Atlanta, a pony playpen party time palooozah!

Aaaand just for your desktop background:

i plan to pioneer the "Nagel-Boy" dont be surprised by overly shiny-way-too-clean-vectorized-embellished drawings of half naked men...


i've been asked to perform at Compound on friday for the cyndi lauper afterparty. its going to be a ken and barbie theme entitled "dollhouse" i've been stockpiling blonde hair and putting aside every piece of pink clothing in my wardrobe.

we'll see how this goes.

you should be there.

Open your mouth.

suggestions... [28 Jul 2010|01:59am]
have i ever mentioned how much i hate it when people "suggest" things to me?

cuz i do. let me explain.

Every day (or at least every other day) someone i know and/or love has a BRILLIANT idea for a thing that i SHOULD do.

for example:

*makeup tutorials for youtube
*online radio shows
*launching my own website
*joining/starting a band
*working at suchandsucha place

and where i know people only have my best interests in mind and i am flattered that they feel as though i have the capability to do magnificent things...still...lets see--how do i put it-- NO ONE IS EVER WILLING TO HELP ME.

so to anyone with a genius idea for a thing for me, please keep them to yourself unless you are willing and capable to help me.

dont give me suggestions for a thing that you dont know anything about. dont give me pointers on how to do anything you have no experience in. dont offer up "new ideas" that you just had involving something you are not involved in.

unless theres an actual legitimate way you can help me make your vision for me a reality, dont bother speaking up at all.

I got this.

thank you.

1 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

this is Barter Town. [27 Jul 2010|09:49pm]
SO its been a WEEKEND..but isnt it always?

After a very inconvenient car accident on thursday, my beloved pontiac vibe is FUCKED...i'm fine though, down to five lives--think i'll save one for next christmas.

went to an underwear "fashion show" at Burkharts..which wasnt very fashiony.

and spent saturday costuming for Sukeban 8: THUNDERDOME aka my birthday party.


spent monday recovering and NOW i'm working on an illustration for the next sloppy seconds poster and its KICKING my ass.

anyway, just wanted to update.

now back to the musical stylings of Eartha Kitt and drawring.

2 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

Sunshine? [10 Jul 2010|08:01am]
So after a day (yesterday) of insomnia, stress, anxiety, and all the things that make me feel crazy....

i finally ate alot of chinese food and passed the fuck out.

didnt last long though.

from 9 pm-4 am...but long enough to make me feel alot better.

i tried to lay in bed with my beloved mister pants and fall back to sleep, but visions of the upcoming sukeban and details that will have to wait till i get back kept invading my brain.

i finally got out of bed at six, after four or five episodes of "Rocko's Modern Life", and sent out emails to all parties involved in sukeban about my over-thought ideas.

then (upon realizing that i was out of coffee) driving to the store to replenish my supply of coffee, toothpaste, and cigarettes...i watched the sun rise. for the first time in a long time, i actually saw the sun as something nice. golden, and warm, it struck me differently today than it has in the past few years.

i've spent so much time avoiding the sun, avoiding the well-lit outside world, and i've kindof forgotten why. i like sunlight--or at least i used to.

occasionally, mornings arent dreadful.

i think my new birthday resolution will be to become less of a vampire.

unlike my usual resolutions of ACTUALLY learning how to sew and becomming financially un-retarded, i think this one is do-able.


i love / hate seeing people that i've known featured in european streetstyle blogs.


one day i'll figure out an actual daytime look.

then we'll see who shits on the sidewalk!


Open your mouth.

Oh btw...i have a birthday at some point or whatever. [09 Jul 2010|12:37pm]


also my official birthday party.
Sunday July 25th @ My Sister's Room in East atlanta.

for more info, go to:


this flyer kindof happened by accident, i was just playing with an idea that somehow resulted in a combination of Art Neuvo / propaganda and Roadwarriors...all things i love.

this was the original version:

in all honesty, the final version needs more tweaking, but i dont feel like it right now.

just come to my party.

Open your mouth.

Today is a good day for mass murder....be glad you arent nearby. [09 Jul 2010|12:15pm]

so okay, i've been in quite the negative mood the past week or more. its why i havent left my house.

its why i've avoided text messages and phone calls and kept my personal appearances brief and inebriated. its hard to deal with text messages saying "OMIJEEZE come to this plaaace! You should SO be here! omijeeeze!" because people dont understand that my lack of response is because i really have nothing nice to say.

i'm stressed and depressed but mostly stressed because i have my final dui hearing on monday in Texas.

Yes...i'll be going to texas this weekend, before i have to appear in court on monday and i am NOT looking forward to it. my lawyer has done a good job thusfar yeah, i mean, i get to keep my license and dont have to have one of those breathalyzer dealies on my stearing wheel--they even mailed my license back to me! which i was told would never happen.

Buuut he's advising that when i show in court, i am prepared to pay the full amount of fines and court fees and whatnot that day because it'll lessen the overall time and amount and severity of my sentance.

It'll result in probation regardless, and it'll probably be about two years, but paying the full amount upfront in cash will guarantee that my annual payments arent as high as they could be, get me out of actually having to report to a probation officer, AND completely cut out any community service requirement.

i've been trying to scrape together the projected 1300 dollars for the past couple of weeks now and i still had to borrow money from my mother and my aunt..degrading, but necessary.

i'm still scared of the whole thing because honestly it hasnt been finalized and thats what the hearing is for. Whereas my lawyer has done this kind of case time and time again and can pretty much forecast the outcome, i still dont trust it because my lot in life is one of major inconvenience. Nothing catastrophically bad ever happens, but things that are tedious, drawn out, and hinder me from doing the things i want always happen.

I've been losing sleep over it, wondering how and when i'm going to be able to pay my mom and my aunt back for their assistance. WISHING i didnt have to be in court so i could at least make a little extra money with gigs this weekend, and trying to come up with new ways to find regular work in a quick way...and more importantly more money in a quick way.

Money is the one thing that pisses me off more than anything else in the world.

like time, you never have enough of it. it always slips away, and when you think you have it, you dont have it.

i couldnt sleep last night, so i got out of bed at about 8 (after laying down at 5 and not sleeping) to work on the next flyer for sukeban...

i got a phone call from my student loans collection department. apparently i'd forgotten to call them back a few months ago when they called asking me if i was able to "pay in full" before six PM that day.

i could have sworn i called them back--but upon recalling the instance, i couldnt remember an outcome of the situation...

i lied and said i was on the way to work and could talk.

its just frustrating.

my mom is low on funds, as she took a job that pays her less than half her usual salary because she'd been out of work for about six months...she can barely pay her own bills, let alone front me money for my stupid mistakes.... and i CERTIANLY dont have the dollars to pay legal stuff and student loans at once while continuing my current path.

all the while i learn of people i know getting opportunities and getting jobs and getting chances to showcase their "skills" that (i think) are vastly sub-par to my own....yet i get overlooked in the same circles.

people tell me i'm "creative" and "talented" and "pretty" and all those things that other people wish someone would say, yet here i am.




and filled with horrible regrets of things i should have done differently.

so yeah. thats where i am right now.

wondering why i cant make it work and wondering how everyone else can. i'm not saying other people have an easier time with making ends meet than i do. i know i'm stubborn and unwilling to compromise, unwilling to settle, and unwilling to easily fall in line with the normal route of things...but its not that i dont try.

anyway...long story short, i'm having a moment.

4 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

Freak Mythology [01 Jul 2010|12:28am]

Bedlam presents: FREAK MYTHOLOGY

July 11th @ iLounge in East Atlanta, dress to get screwed!

this is my week of sudden deadlines. i'm in the middle of working on about three projects--well okay, two now that this bedlam flyer is finished. ANYWAY, back to the drawing board...literally.

1 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

the beginning of a HORRIFYING summer! [23 Jun 2010|02:44pm]
...but not really.

Firstly, pictures from Electroport are starting surface and it makes me very happy.

the above image was shot outside mjq before the show by Tunde with FRESH.I.AM i woke up to an email from him and several pictures attached!

and secondly, Sukeban is this sunday!

i finished the flyer a few days ago but then decided to redo the whole thing because i wasnt really happy with the outcome.

Its bound to be a gorey good time!

if you're free sunday, you need to be there!

Open your mouth.

Get Crucial. [16 Jun 2010|12:31pm]
SO needless to say, I had a WEEKEND! i'm still recovering. after Sloppymania @ MJQ on saturday, Bedlam on sunday, an then Deejaying at Mary's on monday i'm BEAT...

BUT enough about that, back to bedlam:

I was Babs Bunny...from Tiny Toon Adventures.

it was hot so by the time i arrived i had pink pit stains and my body paint had started to crackle, peel, and drip off of me! it really upset me, but the party must continiue!

Its Not Easy Being PinkCollapse )

...and yes, i got fake bucked teeth.

Why Doncha do right?

Theeen the straps on my second performance outfit broke.

but i didnt care.

EITHER WAY! i'm eagerly anticipating more photos from the party, it was fun, it was crazy, it was HOT... if you havent checked out Bedlam yet, i please make an appearance next time! we're trying to turn it into the biggest, wackiest, party in Atlanta.

By the time i got home, i looked like this:




Come out to MJQ this Saturday for Doctor Osaka's Escape to the Electroport! for human sacrifices, lots of feathers, and me as a craaazy drag-shaman!

3 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

What a way to wake up.... [04 Jun 2010|09:37pm]
So, i'm nominated for GA voice's "Best of Atlanta" this year.

for Best Drag Queen.

I'm in the same category as Nicole Paige Brooks and Sonique.

Which, needless to say is shocking that people even nominated me enough to get on that list with them, considering that they've both been on Rupaul's Drag Race.

Anyway, Voting is open till the end of the month, and YOU can vote every day till then!

SO GO! and Vote For Me!



also, look for Barry Brandon for best male musician, Arge and Katie Stover for best Artist, and Zac for best bartender!

I dont know what you get if you win, but i dont care, it'd just be awesome to win!

1 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

Thay take ah Polahroyd... [03 Jun 2010|05:52am]

So i'm waiting on pictures from tonite to start surfacing...

meanwhile, the above image is from "WHO?!" last month.

thanks to the de-lovelye Loren hoffmeier.

Anyway, tonight, i performed at LeBuzz in Scarietta. it wasnt scary at all! i had a great time and met alot of awesome performers.

hopefully i'll make LeBuzz a regular wednesday night thing, but we'll see.

Meanwhile! i'm going to bed.



Open your mouth.

Sloppy-mania 1 [01 Jun 2010|10:16am]
SO i've been working on this illustration for the next Sloppy Seconds Flyer for a little while now.

i think total, i've done maybe three versions of it...me being a craaaazy perfectionist, i of course had to design and re-design costumes for the figures involved. as well as giving them backstory and a reason to be fighting and then i had to decide who'd win the fight.

...yeah...i get way too involved.

I actually redrew the whole thing yesterday and spent the night coloring it and guzzling a potent blend of coffee, redbull, and cigarettes.

ANYWAY, enough about that..on to the pictures!


The Inspiration by Boris Vallejo. a painting i found randomly online. thankfully Boris loves drawing beefy sexy ladies wrestling or just posing and looking feirce.

enough about that though, if you dont know who Boris Vallejo is, i HIGLY advise you look into his work, or that of his wife--fantasy artist and part time female body builder: Julie Bell.

OH and also Joe jusko, because i love his work also.

ANYWAY...Line Work:

Followed by Color:


anyway, i'm done now. i'll post the final flyer when its all completed!

Open your mouth.

PIZAZZ! [24 May 2010|05:41pm]

Sukeban last night was NUTS.

giant robots, naked people, drag queens, cartoon theme songs, guitar smashing....

needless to say i'm sore ALL over.

Anyway, Chris Buxbaum has taken the liberty to start uploading photos already!

here are a few of my faves...of ME Pizazz of the Misfits! (Jem is a cunt!)


3 said something. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Open your mouth.

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